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	<title>Derron Santin, Marriage and Family Therapist</title>
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	<link>http://derronsantin.com</link>
	<description>San Francisco Therapist</description>
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		<title>What is Couples Therapy Worth?</title>
		<link>http://derronsantin.com/2010/07/what-is-couples-therapy-worth/</link>
		<comments>http://derronsantin.com/2010/07/what-is-couples-therapy-worth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Derron Santin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://derronsantin.com/?p=189</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over dinner recently, my friend's wife described her experience with her EAP (Employee Assistance Program) counselor, which has not been good.  Typically, an employer will approve an employee for up to six visits, from within their selected pool, with a licensed clinician.  It's a wise move on the employer's part:  unhappy people make for unproductive employees.  But there are limitations.  My friend told me that this therapist fell asleep on her, and excused it on a heavy lunch.  Her therapist makes frequent mention of other clients, though not directly by name (yet since her workplace is small, my friend was able to discern who her fellow clients were).  She mentioned a number of things her therapist said that spoke of poor boundaries.  Being new to therapy, my friend wondered if this was normal behavior from a therapist.  As much as I like to allow people to make their own informed, empowered decisions, I was struggling to remain in my seat.  This therapist's behavior was unprofessional, inappropriate, and unethical, for starters.  I was sorry this had been my friend's introduction to therapy, and promissed her it could, and should, be something entirely different.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>Come from Your Strength</title>
		<link>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/come-from-your-strength/</link>
		<comments>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/come-from-your-strength/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 May 2010 19:52:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Derron Santin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Therapy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://derronsantin.com/?p=180</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What does it take to get your partner to listen to you?  (And why won't they change into what you want them to be?)  If you've been waiting for them to see things your way, if only s/he would simply stop doing this or start doing that, if only they would fulfill the potential you see or once saw in them....  You know what I'm getting at here:  this is a fantasy.  While you complain, blame, rage, or quietly simmer with resentment, you've put yourself and your relationship on hold.  The longer you wait or quietly hope for your partner to do the work, the more you invite feelings of powerlessness, passivity, despair, even rage.  Your partner feels this, and you polarize.  You are in a loop.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t Take it Personally</title>
		<link>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/dont-take-it-personally/</link>
		<comments>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/dont-take-it-personally/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 May 2010 20:07:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Derron Santin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couples Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://derronsantin.com/?p=173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When your spouse or partner presents you with something they're struggling with, and you happen to be part of that struggle, what do you do?  If you are like most of us, it's easy to become defensive, argue, or cross complain.  And then, of course, it's "on."  Deep feelings become triggered, and no matter how small the initial complaint, things get too hot, too fast.  You've taken it personally.  You've let your partner's complaint stand as a comment against who you are, and why should you tolerate that?  You fight back, because this is what our brain is wired to do--it's a survival mechanism, serving to keep us alive.  But in this case it's overkill.  After many of these dramas, it seems as if the two of you can't stop yourselves from fighting about small stuff; sometimes, you can't even remember what it was all about.  All you know is that it hurt, for both of you, and you feel stuck.
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Men&#8217;s Group Flyer</title>
		<link>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/mens-group-flyer/</link>
		<comments>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/mens-group-flyer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 May 2010 17:06:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Derron Santin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://derronsantin.com/?p=169</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A common dilemma for the modern man is how to balance the tension between dedication to work and achieving true presence in your intimate relationship.   Mastering the two without living a dual existence presents an ongoing challenge.  This is a group for men in relationships who want to understand more deeply how to fully align themselves in both their work and intimate relationships, and how to live with an increased sense of freedom and power.  As a result, you will have the opportunity to access the rich, fruitful connection to the feminine, as well as your masculine drive to achieve a clear and committed focus on work.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Upcoming Men&#8217;s Group</title>
		<link>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/upcoming-mens-group/</link>
		<comments>http://derronsantin.com/2010/05/upcoming-mens-group/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 May 2010 16:41:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Derron Santin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Men's Issues]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://derronsantin.com/?p=164</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Our particular culture of work and frenetic activity in the San Francisco Bay Area makes harsh and often unreasonable demands on today’s man. You need to be solid, a man of your word, keep up at work or even lead the way, and even more challenging, maintain the fire of your intimate relationship. Daily distractions distort what is valuable, knock you off balance, and may keep you that way. In addition to that, you may have your partner asking for or demanding more intimacy. You’re just trying to keep up, make a decent living or even a killing, as you were taught was the minimum requirement, the nature of masculine success. In all of this you may feel something is missing, some piece that could ground you and offer the stability from which you could take on your relationship and the world with more confidence and freedom. What is it? Where did things go off the rails?]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Managed Care and Insurance Panels</title>
		<link>http://derronsantin.com/2010/04/managed-care-and-insurance-panels/</link>
		<comments>http://derronsantin.com/2010/04/managed-care-and-insurance-panels/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:02:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Derron Santin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Insurance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://derronsantin.com/?p=131</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Along with having a limited number of sliding-scale spaces available, I am a preferred provider for several managed care organizations.  My affiliations include Blue Shield, LifeSynch, Coventry, ComPsych, BHS (Behavioral Health Systems), Beech Street, and MHNet (Mental Health Network).  Please contact your insurance provider for details.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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